


Chances

by pleasereadmeok



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3586350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasereadmeok/pseuds/pleasereadmeok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s not too late?”<br/>“It would never have been too late.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chances

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not sure how I feel about Alicia at the moment. She is so fickle. Her infatuation with Johnny came out of nowhere. Now there are a few people saying that Finn is too good for her and sometimes I find myself agreeing with them. What I AM sure about is that Finn is a nice guy who deserves happiness and that may not be with Alicia…
> 
>   _Warning x 2.  
>  1\. There is a discussion about the loss of a baby.   
> 2\. If you are a diehard Alicia fan - this may ruin your Sunday! Sorry._

Finn listened to his messages. It was the usual people wanting things from him. There was one message that made him sit to attention. It was a voice he knew so well but that he hadn’t heard for months.  
_“Finn. It’s me. Could we talk sometime?”_ The words rolled over and over in his mind as he pressed ‘call’.  
“Lizzie? What’s up?”  
“Finn! It’s so good to hear your voice. I …” She choked up.  
“Lizzie what’s wrong? Is it Patrick?”  
“No – god no – he’s great, honestly. It’s me. I’m not doing so great.”  
Although Finn and Lizzie were divorced he still cared for his ex – wife. “Talk to me Lizzie. Tell me what’s wrong.”  
“You’re probably busy. Maybe we could talk later?”  
“No – now – you’re worrying me. Please. Are you sick?”  
“No. Finn I’ve made such a mess of things. I’m so sorry. I….” Lizzie started to cry. Contrary to what you might think, Finn was overjoyed to hear her cry. This was a good sign. In their last months together Lizzie had been silent, numb. When he last saw her she had nothing left, she was empty. If she was crying – she was waking up to her emotions at last. Lizzie was _feeling_ again. Finn knew he had to be with her.  
“Lizzie I’ll fly up there. We’ll talk. It’ll be OK.”  
“You’d do that for me? Despite everything?”  
“Don’t think about that now. Yes of course I want to be with you – you know that. I’ll see you in a few hours.” And then, because it was still true, he added, “I love you.”

 

Finn made arrangements quickly. He had to hand over some cases and he knew who he could trust. Diane grasped all of the issues instantly and wished him well. Finn hadn’t told her the details of his wife’s call but she understood well enough.  
“You’re not coming back are you?”  
“No – not if things work out the way I hope.”  
“Will you see Alicia before you go?”  
“No.” That would just complicate things and right now Finn didn’t need that.

 

Finn arrived at the house later that evening. Technically it was still his house – but he did not use his key. Patrick would be in bed and although Finn was desperate to see his son, he knew that it was for the best to wait until tomorrow. Lizzie and he needed time together to talk. So instead of ringing the bell and waking up Patrick, he texted Lizzie _‘I’m here.’_  
He heard Lizzie rush to the door. As soon as it was opened her arms were around him.  
“Finn.” She was crying again. “I’m so glad to see you – I can’t believe you came.”  
Finn buried his face in her hair. It was hard to take everything in. His brain was overloaded with the familiar feelings and senses. He breathed in the scent of soap and flowers and the emotion that reawakened in him was overwhelming. Finn still used the same soap to feel close to Lizzie. On him it smelt wrong. There was something about the way the soap interacted with Lizzie’s skin that made a unique fragrance that he could never recreate. He held her tight.  
“I broke us. I can’t forgive myself for what I did to us. I still love you.”  
Finn sighed as he heard her words. He knew it would be OK now.

They kissed like it was the first time. Tentative at the beginning, then as they remembered how it used to be, it was passionate and loving. That they would make love now was a totally natural thing for them to do. It was always that way with Lizzie and Finn –making love was the usual precursor to their deepest conversations.

Finn felt like he was home. “I missed this so much.” He breathed in Lizzie’s ear as they made love. She understood. She knew Finn better than she knew herself. It wasn’t the sex he missed - it was the closeness; the intimate connection with the one person in the world who knows you absolutely.

Afterwards they lay in each other’s arms and talked properly for the first time since they had lost their baby. The pain and grief had prevented this honesty and understanding before now.  
“I’m so sorry. I feel like I’ve been asleep forever and when I woke up – you weren’t there. How could I let you go? How could I do that? You did everything you could to help me and I just pushed you away. I just couldn’t _hear_ you. I can’t explain.”  
“Baby you don’t have to. I understand. There’s nothing to forgive. Neither of us could cope. Both of us fell apart.”  
“I love you. It’s always been you. How could I do that to us?”  
“Shush. It’s going to be OK now. I love you too.”  
“Really? After everything?  
“Really. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere – I promise.”  
“It’s not too late?”  
“It would never have been too late.”  
“I can’t believe you’re here. I was so worried you had moved on. Josh said that you were seeing someone else – Alison…?”  
“Alicia. No. That wasn’t going anywhere. In the end we couldn’t get passed being friends. There was a point when I thought it could have been something more – but no. Anyway she liked bad boys.” He laughed.  
“She doesn’t know you very well then does she?” Lizzie laughed too.  
“I’m not that much of a selfish bastard am I?”  
“No. You are the least selfish person I know. Did I really say that to you?”  
“We both said a lot of things we shouldn’t.”  
“So are we really going to do this?”  
“Yes. But we need to get it right. We need to work through things properly.”  
“What – like have counselling or therapy? You’d do that? You’d hate that.”  
“It’s important – whatever it takes.”

 

It was very late when Alicia finally got back to the office and caught up with Diane. Diane was explaining, “I’ve got some extra cases from Finn that we need to allocate. He left in a hurry.”  
“Why? What happened?”  
“Something to do with his ex-wife. He left a couple of hours ago.”  
Alicia looked surprised. “When will he be back?”  
“Alicia I don’t think he’s coming back. I don’t think we’ll see him again.”  
Alicia was stunned. She didn't understand at first but when she did - she was crushed.  
Diane noticed, “Were you - together?”  
Alicia managed to choke out the words, “No. I guess I always thought we would be – sometime. I really thought…. But no.”  
“I’m so sorry. I’m sure he’ll contact you to explain. Alicia are you going to be alright?”

Alicia went back to her office like a zombie. She had thought Finn would always be there and that one day they might have a chance to be together. All through her ridiculous flirtation with John – Finn was always in the back of her mind. And now he had gone. He wasn’t coming back and it was all over before it had even begun. How could she have been so stupid? Alicia started to cry as it sunk in that she would never see Finn again. She felt the loss of his friendship most of all – unconditional, supportive and wise – all gone. Alicia had missed her chance for happiness with Finn and now she felt sick and empty.

 

Finn did call Alicia as Diane had predicted. He was kind and gentle with her but it was still a tense and awkward conversation. “I’m sorry if I led you on.” He hadn’t of course. Finn owed her nothing but nevertheless his leaving felt like a betrayal to Alicia. One thing he said hurt Alicia the most, “Did you expect me to wait forever?” 

In the months that followed Alicia had many occasions to regret her missed chances. Finn had moved on. Alicia had not. She was still married to Peter. Zach and Grace were away at college and she was on her own in the apartment. She had her work but somehow it didn’t seem enough anymore. Alone at night Alicia thought of what might have been. 

 

Yes Alicia had regrets and none more so than today. She was in Diane’s office going over some paperwork when Diane broke off to check her e-mails. Diane was mumbling to herself as she scrolled through the messages. Then she exclaimed, “Oh how wonderful is that?!”  
Alicia looked up – “Good news?”  
“The best news from Finn.”  
Alicia’s heart leapt. “Finn? Is he coming back?”  
Diane suddenly remembered how her friend had reacted when Finn left and suppressed her joy. “No – my apologies. I forgot for a moment. It’s just that Finn keeps in touch…”  
“Oh – I didn’t realise…. What is it then?”  
Diane hesitated but then said, “Look.”  
Alicia looked at the screen and gave a sharp intake of breath. At the top of the message Finn had written, _‘Hi Diane. Just introducing you to Beth. Finn. XXX.’_ Underneath there were two pictures. He was beaming with pride and happiness with his arms around a beautiful blonde woman and a small boy who looked like Finn in miniature. The blonde woman was holding a new baby - Beth. The second picture was of Finn cradling Beth in his arms. The look of pure love Finn gave towards the camera told Alicia that Lizzie had taken the photograph. Finn wouldn't ever look at Alicia like that – her chance of that was long gone. Alicia understood now that there had **never** been any chance of that – she would always have been second best to Lizzie. Despite her regret and hurt feelings, Alicia knew she had to let Finn go now and be happy for him. 

 

The day the photographs were taken was one of the best days of Finn’s life. A nurse at the hospital had taken the first one of his family - all together at last. Beth gurgled and snuffled against Finn’s chest as he held her for more photos – this time taken by a tired but happy Lizzie. Finn folded his free arm around Lizzie and thanked god for this second chance at the life he wanted with the woman he loved. Finn breathed in the scent of his new baby daughter. Chicago was forgotten and his happiness was complete.


End file.
